A dialogue with myself

[I am with myself on an island, 20 feet in diameter, with a palm tree in the middle; ocean surrounds the island for as far as the eye can see. The day is sunny.]
"This really is an underused idea.
"That was an abrupt introduction.
"I was getting to the point. A conversation with oneself has no need for superficialities.
"But is not the whole conversation superficial? For why do I need to say anything, when you are me and could just think it?
"That must be a rhetorical question, for the answer is obvious. Most of our thoughts do not get quantified or qualified, and we very quickly forget them. By explicitly relating them they will be consciously recognized and remembered.
"If it was so obvious an answer, why did you bother repeating it?
"Because it was beast.
"No it wasn't.
"I know that you dolt, I just thought it would be beast, before I said it.
"That happens a lot nowadays, doesn't it?
"Yes, I find that I am being too rigid and don't have anything good to say, when I'm not in love. I mean, it can't be a coincidence that every good piece of writing I have produced was when I was delusionally in love.
"Indeed. Which is why we are having this conversation.
"Because there is noone beast enough for me to love, but I am beast enough for me.
"If only I could talk to myself.
"But you are.
"I know! That's the beauty of it.
"Like that made sense.
"Say, what is that music playing? I believe it's Bach's Concerto after Marcello, performed by Glenn Gould.
"There's no music playing you idiot.
"Would it matter if there was? I was trying to get the conversation going, since you let it stagnate.
"I don't see how you can place all of the blame on me.
"Why not, you're the only one here.
"What about you?
"I am you.
"Then shouldn't you call me 'me'?
"What's the difference? 1 + 1 = 1 in this case.
"Ah yes, the folly of mathematics.
"What folly of mathematics?
"To fail to accurately represent reality.
"You shouldn't get into an argument with me, for surely you will lose. One mathematical system can't represent all of society at one system. There are many different interpretations for 1 + 1. Another is 1 + 1 = 3.
"Ah yes. Or 1 + 1 = 4, if they're twins.
"That's quite clever.
"I know. That's why I said it.
"God I'm beast.
"And so am I.
"That's what I said.
"Oh, fuck you.
"What you said was, 'fuck me'.
"What, Austin Powers?
"Damnit. How did that come about?
"Because Austin Powers is obsessed with sex.
"I know I am too, but we weren't talking about it just then.
"Ah, right.
"But we are talking about it now?
"We might as well be. Why didn't anyone bother to stick a beast woman on this island?
"Because such a thing does not exist.
"Two me's don't exist, but yet they do.
"Okay, then it is impossible for Our Mighty Creator to qualify what a beast woman would be.
"How about me, but a woman?
"Eww.
"Exactly.
"Why did the conversation stagnate right there?
"Becuase I had to respond to a conversation with Adam Crowe.
"No you didn't. You could have just told him you were busy and finished this.
"But that would have been rude. Besides, we were talking about something important.
"That's bullshit justification-in-hindsight. You didn't sever the conversation because it didn't occur to you to.
"How self-referential!
"Indeed.
"So what now?
"What, you feel an extra sense of relief after that?
"That was a poor comment.
"Thanks for pointing that out.
"You're welcome to the truth anytime.
"So are you, asshole.
"It's sad nobody will figure out what this conversation is really about.
"It's not sad, it's completely natural. This conversation isn't really about anything.
"Except nothing.
"But then why bother saying so?
"I know. It pisses me off when people apply adjectives to nothing at all. If a category has nothing at all in it, why does the adjective even exist?
"That was poor. You'll have to cut it when you post it on your journal.
"What the hell are you talking about?
"What, you didn't know what this was really for?
"Well, I don't know. I mean, if this is all in my metahead, and we're aware of it, it detracts from the reality of the scene, don't you think?
"But I just couldn't help slipping it out.
"What you really mean is, 'I have no defense to your argument'.
"God, that was beast.
"You can only revel in my beast because you are me.
"That's blatantly obvious. What a stupid comment.
"This conversation is going nowhere.
"But you need something to post. You said you were going to post on your journal tonight.
"I did. But who actually read that notice?
"So why do you feel forced to write this up then?
"I thought I asked you that.
"What difference does it make? The only purpose we serve is to be two separate entities, both which represent the same person, so I can have a conversation with myself. It is the only way to go about things. I can't have a conversation with myself if I am conceptually exclusively one entity.
"Yes, I see your point. But I didn't want to answer the question.
"That's beside the point. The point of having this conversation is that some topics will just happen to come up out of thin air by forcing yourself to imagine having a conversation with me, since you can't think up anything new since you haven't been in love.
"I like how when you're saying something negative about yourself you use "you" rather than "I", when really they're both the same thing.
"It's the liberty I have given to me by the fault of the English language.
"Fault of the English language? What language could be well-prepared for someone to have a conversation with themself?
"A beast one.
"Nice response.
"You set me up.
"Damn, however is this conversation going to end? . . .
"I always assumed that some convenient point would come up, where the conversation could stop and it would be very beast.
"But it certainly could not be now.
"No, not just yet, we're building up to some sort of climax.
"Damn, I love climaxes!
"If you loved climaxes, you wouldn't have just ruined it just now.
"It was pleasure-delay.
"Ah yes. That reminds me of Vanilla Sky. That movie had such a great concept, but was ruined by Hollywood's standards.
"Just like the ending of Amélie.
"Tom Cruise somehow seems to net intellectual and thought-provoking movies.
"Indeed. I still can't believe I haven't seen the Kubrick one yet.
"Yes. So what happened to the climax?
"Oh, it's coming, don't worry.
"Dear god, you sick pervert! What are you doing?
"Don't worry, nobody will catch on.
"Yeah, you're right. I'm just jealous I didn't think of that first.
"Your misery is self-contrived. You could just has easily revelled in my beast as not have revelled, if you just allowed you to be me.
"Why do you sound so mystical?
"Because I've been reading Jane Eyre and math textbooks, a terrible combination.
"At least math textbooks end at a reasonable point.
"Though Jane Eyre didn't.
"What do you mean? Jane Eyre had a fantastic ending (literally)! It fit the story very well, given that the story is completely unrealistic and boring.
"Oh come on, you're just afraid to like it.
"You're damn right I am. If I did my life would truly have gone down the drain.
"Like it's metaphorically gone down the drain, or something?
"Yes. Since I'm not in love.
"Would you shut up about that?
"Why the hell did you give me a rhetorical question?
"Isn't any question rhetorical here?
"Oh right, I keep forgetting The Point.
"Or was that me?
"We went through this already. . . .
"Did I mention Brahms is a beast?
"No you didn't, and that was terrible timing.
"Brahms lagged on too long as well, you know. Like in the final minute-or-so of his First symphony.
"I guess he was just having too much fun.
"I know what you mean. But we're never going to get post-climax here.
"Yeah, might as well quit now.
"Would you stop being so nervous about this ending? This is just like when you're at a social event, and complain for half the time that it is lame. If it's lame, leave! Just because something might happen and you have no beast exits is no good reason to stay.
"But I have all the reason in the world to stay here with you.
"How pederastic.
"That sounded sarcastic.
"That was obvious.
"But not if it were read from text.
"Good grief, there is more self-reference in here than in one of Hofstadter's dialogues. But none of it's as clever.
"That doesn't matter, nobody who reads this will have read the Hofstadter dialogues.
"Right. Isn't it amazing how this can work? I mean, how splitting myself into two conceptual beings from one can yield fruit?
"You mean you think it's brilliant how I discovered a proof that 1 + 1 = 1 that doesn't involve division by zero?
"No, you idiot. I have an even better math analogy: even when one knows all the axioms of a system, meaningful theorems of the system aren't obvious, because meaning is a very human thing.
"Indeed. So you're saying that even though I exist, I do not immediately know everything even though I could find it out quite easily just by thinking?
"Yes, to put it beastly.
"But of course that is a romanticization, because of Moral Relativism.
"But nobody seems to bother to bring that up. Actually, they do. But I'm just too good at rebutting sophistic reasoning.
"No you aren't. You're just imagining it.
"If you're referring to one of the couple times I was deemed 'wrong' by a majority of my peers, you must recognize surely that I am more right than them combined.
"That is so arrogant, but so right.
"And I can say it because nobody will read it.
"Then why are you posting it on your journal?
"Because if there wasn't a premise for posting it on my journal, I wouldn't be doing this in the first place.
"But you could just write it, and then not post it.
"But I'm too weak for that. I need other people to read my works. I can't exist for myself. We've gone through this already.
"I know. But it's good to cover these points again, to keep them fresh in your mind.
"Indeed, this is going nowhere.
"No it isn't. You're just lazy and want to end it.
"You know, I never am going to end it so long as you tell the truth.
"So you're suggesting that you should end it on a false note?
"Like anyone will notice."