Hands and other fetishes

I have recently developed a hand fetish. I take this more seriously than my eyebrow fetish, since I admire my hands but not my eyebrows.

That doesn't mean I like all hands; only beast hands. In fact, I am usually hesistant to go into a handshake, because I am tempted to use a firm grasp that would certainly cripple the recipient. I am embarassed to say I once tried to back out of a handshake early, though it was inadvertant. I did not expect his grasp to be so firm, judging from the appearance of his hands; but I should have known, after I heard him play a piano. I subconsciously determined going into the handshake how long it would last, and I didn't react to his firm grasp once it started. After a bit more than a second, my hand went limp, to signal that I was ready to end the handshake; but his grasp kept firm for another second. Of course, I didn't have the option to re-enter the handshake, because by the time I would have begun to refirm my hand, he would have been exiting from the handshake. I should have managed the whole situation better, since I suspect, from his prolonged grasp of my hand, that he admired my hand. I bet he doesn't get to shake hands like mine very often, if ever.

Another person who I suspect appreciates beautiful hands is portraytist Jacques-Louis David. I come to this conclusion based on his painting The Death of Socrates. I question why I should even italicize that, since David was French, the painting is Greek, and no title was given beyond Athenaion (Of Athens). I think a pronunciation guide indicating that the stress is on the second syllable in his last name would be more useful, though of course, I can have the best of both worlds, have my pie and eat it too. Incidentally I think due to reasons stemming from the golden ratio, I slice my pie into sevenths. I just justified this mathematically to within a 0.2% margin of error, which is excellent for a pie.

The holistic painting itself is nice. The irony is obvious in that everyone except Socrates himself is devastated at him being put to death. And, of course, the light is focused most brightly on Socrates himself and his old-man chest. Socrates is so versatile that he can profoundly hold up his finger and at the same time receive a cup of poison while looking in another direction; and he is so versatile that, while doing all of this, he can be in the process of sitting up. Of course, Socrates has no reason to sit up or point his finger profoundly, since obviously nobody else in the room is in a state fit to receive profundity.

Unfortunately, we don't see much of the famous Greek pederasty displayed in this painting. In fact, the only remotely pederastic thing in the painting is a man, perhaps Crito, placing his hand on Socrates' leg. However, Socrates doesn't seem to be too interested, as he is looking directly over this man's head.

But don't dare let me get away without talking more about that hand; for what a hand it is! Regard:

It is from this I conclude the David admires hands like me, for this hand is so out of place. Looking first at the rest of this man's body, we see that he is afraid and timid, from his face and his insecurely-held left hand. Based on this one would expect the man's right hand, if to lie on Socrates at all, would lie limply. But this is not the case. Not only is the hand held firmly, it does not lie on Socrates; only the fingers touch Socrates, while the rest of the hand (judging by the shape of the hand, the shadow, and the lack of creases on Socrates' garment) lies above Socrates' garment. From all appearances this hand does not belong with the rest of the painting, and I find it likely David subtly put it in because he couldn't resist a beautiful hand.